"Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but on what
happens inside of you. It is measured by the spirit with which you meet
the problems of life." ~ Harold B. Lee

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Standing Strong

I think to be a military spouse...you have to be made of tougher stuff.  Because watching the one you love walk away to the airport, knowing that you will not see them for months, is so very hard.  Even harder to handle is my aching heart and trying to keep it in check to be able to take care of my little angel.  He can't understand why dad doesn't come home at night.  He doesn't know why dad isn't there to play with and cuddle him.  Sometimes I feel so inadequate to be doing this.  I want to be what my little man needs...but I can't be everything....I will give him everything I have.  I pray that my hundreds of silent prayers will be felt by my love so very far away.  I miss him so much.  It is a very lonely bed without him.  It's hard to be without my husband, best friend, and wonderful father to our little Sam.  Friends and family have been amazing in supporting me and Sam.  Music has done wonders to calm my soul.  And every step of the way, Heavenly Father has been here patiently waiting for me to let down my walls, to let out the hurt, and let Him help me.  These next months will have lots of opportunities for growth...I pray I have the courage to face them head on and overcome. 
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4 comments:

  1. Nichole GaertnerJanuary 8, 2011 at 11:08 PM

    I'm sorry you have to feel this Valerie. You are a very beautiful writer. Allow yourself to grieve. Cry, scream, punch your pillow, and cuddle your baby and smell his hair every second you can. These are the things that will keep you sane. I know it's not the same, but I grew up with my dad being in the Army. It was incredibly hard for my sister and I when we were younger, but mostly it was hard on my mom. She did it though, by finding other women in similar circumstances. Other women who actually KNEW her pain. You can do this. And when he comes home... you'll have an amazing home coming!

    Love Nichole

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  2. Jenny RobbinsJanuary 8, 2011 at 11:26 PM

    My heart goes out to you sweetie! I can't imagine what it would be like to be in your situation. You're an amazing woman and an amazing mommy! Remember I love you too!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ransom and Brooke YoungJanuary 9, 2011 at 8:19 AM

    I love you Val. And I know you can do this! You're amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  4. UnknownJanuary 9, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    I Love You Sweetheart

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